The War Against Good Service: Ten Annoying Customers

I’m at work. This is a short list of really annoying people that I see on a daily basis. I’m writing it because I’m too tired to write anything truly coherent right now. And because I might be feeling just a little like an unreasonably grumpy bastard.

1. To all you lovely folks that can’t think without leaving your mouths hanging open, I hope fire ants start a colony in your esophagus. No, really.

2. Open-mouth gum chewers everywhere: you look like cows with cud. Stop it.

3. Women in low-cut tops who give me dirty looks for sneaking a quick peek need to dress more conservatively.

4. Tight clothes do not make fat women look good. Please, if you know a big girl that thinks she looks great in hip-hugger jeans and belly shirts, tell her “no.”

5. You know those people that say “fuck” way too much? They can do it to themselves.

6. Customer that fakes an English accent because she “went on holiday” for one week in Europe and “just picked it up:” everyone around you knows it’s fake and thinks you’re a pretentious bitch.

7. People who take my stark and awkward silence and expression of pure disdain to mean I’m interested in their kids/job/divorce/other personal matter really need to learn to read body language and facial expressions.

8. Ignorance is not always bliss, guy who doesn’t read signs.

9. I’m sorry you’re having a bad day. I’m not sorry I laughed in your face when you tried to take it out on me.

10. Yes, I have tattoos. Obviously that means I want to see every last one of yours and hear the story behind each one. I’d much rather talk to you than eat my lunch while it’s still hot.

Have a *sparkling* day.

Maybe some of you can’t relate to this because you have “real” jobs. Maybe some of you can’t relate to this because you’re guilty of one or several of the things I mentioned. But if you can relate, feel free to share your horror stories in the comments. Freelancers count, too. But I’ll save that for a different post.

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4 Comments

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4 responses to “The War Against Good Service: Ten Annoying Customers

  1. The Storriteller Post

    Ah, where to begin? I think it’s the “Person Who’s So Important and Talking on Their Cellphone While I Check Them Out in Lane # 2 of the Bookstore Instead of Making Eye Contact or Answering Any of my Questions” person. They’re everywhere! Funny post.

  2. Ioana

    While working at a multinational company reception desk I have created a list of things I wish I could have shouted to some customers calling in. Here they are:
    You CANNOT talk to the Marketing Director because you just had a brilliant idea of how to rebrand the company!
    You do not NEED to talk to the General Manager because a sales agent did not bring you the correct order!
    You CANNOT talk to the General Manager or any Brand Manager because you would like to change a product’s recipe!
    You CANNOT talk to HR without a previous appointment no matter how skilled and experienced you are or how desperate you are for a job! (And never come in to ask for a job WITHOUT A CV)
    If you are not sure who you should talk to, state your issue and ASK the person at the reception to help you out! (E.g.: Do not ask for the CFO if you would like to offer us raw materials).
    If given an EMAIL address of someone within the company, USE it. Do not cal over and over again. You will only make the people who would eventually help you (but are to busy at the moment) think you are an asshole (and probably will not want to deal with you).
    If given a COMPANY EMAIL address, USE it. I don’t care you want an answer now or you want to talk to someone. That’s the company’s policy! And YES, the emails are actually read and forwarded to the right persons. If you get no answer it means we are not interested right now. Try again with a new proposal but DO NOT pester us with daily answer requests. As you probably imagine the number of emails is very high. Because we spend time READING them, we have less time (or no time) to ASNWER every one of them.
    DO NOT keep insisting to talk with “SOMEONE IN CHARGE” or “SOMEONE WITH DECISION-MAKING POWER” within the company. The cleaning lady has decision-making power regarding of how would be best to get rid of that nasty stain on the carpet but that’s probably not what you need. Again: state your issue and ASK the person at the reception who would be the right person to help you out!
    If the person at the reception asks for MORE INFORMATION, explain your reason of calling in BROAD TERMS. The receptionist does not need EVERY DETAIL but does need AT LEAST SOME INFORMATION to figure out where to transfer your call.

    P.S. I am so happy I no longer work in front-office!

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